Thursday, September 23, 2010

Babies babies all around!

                                                                                             Suri as a baby
Many of my friends are either pregnant and due any day now or have newborns.  You would think all these babies would make me want one too.  Yes, at first when everyone was announcing their pregnancies baby fever hit me.  It's a pretty frustrating thing actually.  Thankfully it passed though.  It was just a momentary zing of jealousy.   

Fast forward a few months and now babies are being born.  Baby fever is completely gone and has been gone for quite some time.  No, not because I have babies to play with now but because I see how much work they are.  I see how tiring it is.  I see how much time a baby takes to care for.  I see it all and I am not ready for that.

My child is 9.  She's practically a grown up compared to the babies around me.  She is pretty self-sufficient and she doesn't have to be by my side 24/7.  She can have sleep overs, she can play outside, she can read in her room, she can feed herself, she can make her cereal, she can microwave food, she can dress and bathe herself, she can go snowboarding with us, etc.  She can do and go practically anywhere we want to go without much hassle.  I don't have to be by her side 24/7 and we don't have to change our lifestyle.

I like it this way.  I'm not ready to change.  I don't want the extra cost of having a baby in the house.  I don't want my freedom taken from me.  I don't want to gain weight again.  I don't want to be tired all the time.  I don't want my wallet to be even more empty.  I don't want a strain on my marriage.  I just don't.

I know it may sound selfish but I know exactly what having a baby is like.  I did it before, mostly alone, and it was enjoyable.  I did love it but it's just not something I am ready to do again just yet.  Andrew wants a child and it will happen eventually (assuming it can).  For right now we both are on the same track with waiting though.     


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