30 Days of Truths: Day 2

 Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

This one is a little easier.  Just ask my family, I love myself and sometimes can be conceited.  Well, according to them I am.  What they don't realize is that I do it on purpose in front of them.  Hehe.  


What do I love about myself?  I love the fact that I am independent.

After my separation and then divorce from V I learned who I was.  Before then I was just still a kid in her early 20s without a place in life.  Sure I played the role of mom, wife, student, and employee but who was I really?

Honestly, I should have left him a year after we married but I didn't.  I was pregnant and only 20 or 21 at the time.  I was scared.  I was in the military so I knew I would have an income and a place to live but still, at 20 it's a scary thing to be pregnant and have to do it alone so I stayed.  It turns out I was a single mom anyway with him being deployed (he was in the Marines as well).  I thought things would get better with time though.  They didn't.

I left him when I was 23.  We lived in North Carolina at the time but I'm from California.  I still left.  I came home.  I ended up getting an apartment, a job, a new car, and enrolled in community college.  Now I was all the roles above with the exception of "wife".

During this time the transition was hard on myself and my daughter.  We cried a lot.  We comforted each other (you would be amazed at what a two year old can pick up on when it comes to emotions) but we made it through.

Six months later, V was back in our lives.  We decided to give our marriage a try.  He moved to California and in with me.  It didn't work.  We were more like room mates.  A few months later I asked him to leave.  He did and once again I was a single mother.

This time it was easier.  I already knew I could do it.  I didn't need him and the stress that he brought to my life.  Suraya needed him but she didn't need him to live with us.  It was too volatile of an environment.  Suraya and I made it through and now we are doing amazingly well.

I met and remarried the perfect guy.  He is Suraya's dad and he is the type of husband I always envisioned (well, except for the rich part.  He's not rich).      

Through that experience 7 long years ago I became a stronger and more independent person.  I was a scared kid when it all started but I grew up.  I made my mistakes in parenting, life, dating, etc. but I learned and moved on.  It took a few years but I figured out who I was.

I know who I am.
I know now that I can do it.
I can make it on my own.
I can make decisions on my own.
I can do anything I put my mind to.
I am independent and I love that about me.      

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30 Days of Truths

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself