Thursday, January 14, 2010

Will he ever change?

Suraya has a father.
Not Andrew who is there for her everyday.
She has another man who should be in her life but isn't.
Why isn't he?
I really don't know.
I don't ask.
I don't push it anymore.
I have left it up to Suraya.

He came down in July from South Carolina and was with Suraya for a few days.
She cried the first night after he dropped her off.
I felt horrible for her.
It broke my heart.
She missed him.

Since that night in July she has not cried.
She has not asked to call him.
She doesn't talk about him.
I don't know why.

I really had hopes that him seeing her again would spark an interest in him having contact with his child.
It didn't.
He hasn't called.
He didn't send a Christmas card.
He didn't send a gift.
No contact since July.
I don't know.

I have sat with Suraya and let her know she can talk to me about him whenever she wants.
She can call him anytime.
She hasn't done either.
I'm sure it hurts her but she says nothing.
I've asked her if she wants to call him.
She says "Maybe later".
She's smart.
Maybe she's waiting for him.
I don't know.

He has another child with his current wife.
I wonder how Suraya feels?
Does she wonder why her dad is with her half sister "S" and not her?
Does she care?
Does she wonder why "S" gets to see daddy and she doesn't?
Does she wonder if daddy loves "S" more?
I wonder....

Why does he not call?
Why does he not care?
I don't get it.
How can you leave your child and act like they don't exist?

Will Suraya disown him when she gets older?
Will she cry over him?
Will she see Andrew as her "daddy"?

Will he try to come back in her life and act lie he never missed a day of it?
I don't know but I wish I did.
I wish she didn't have to go through this.
I feel bad for her.
She needs her daddy.

She has Andrew though.
He is her daddy even though she doesn't say it yet.
I think she will see him as her dad.
She won't forget her biological dad though.
She will likely always wonder about him.
But thankfully I have brought a great father figure into her life.
It has helped.
It is working out great.
But I'm sure there will always be that hole in her heart for the man who is supposed to be her daddy.



Wow...reading this is like reading my thoughts. I have the same problem with Brianna's father. I try to get her to call him or talk about him and nothing. He does call ONCE a month but for only a couple of minutes (I guess he's just calling so he seems like he "might" be interested). Her birthday party was this past weekend and he actually flew in (he lives in FL...well he was actually coming in that day so I changed the date of the party so he could be there and big mistake!). He came but just stood in a corner and didn't even really talk to her at all! I know she'll grow up and know he was never there for her and it kills me. But she has Mike (and when she talks to her friends she mentions him as "my dad") and she'll soon realize what an ass her "real" father is. But I know what you sucks!! :(


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