Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I had a seriously hard time a few years ago after I left me ex. I wasn't much of a mom to Suraya. I was lost in my own world of anger and loss. I sometimes look back and wish I was there emotionally for Suraya. Poor child kind of had to raise herself. How does a 2 year old raise herself? I have no clue but she managed.

This entry stems from some pictures I came across of Suraya when she was younger. She was maybe 2 or 3. I had bought a camera and left it on the couch. I slept in, as I did many morning probably hungover (this was normal for me at the time...sad), and woke up to find this on my camera:

These pictures always put a smile on my face. I wonder how I could have been so caught up in my anger and pain? How could I have missed this stage of her life? Sure I was there physically but in all other aspects I was gone. I was in a dark place. I missed many years of her life and I won't get to relive them. Sadly, I don't remember much of how she was when she was this young. I missed it and now I regret it. I have few pictures to look back on and I'm thankful for those. I should have been happy then...look at her? How could I not have been? She was such a hilarious little child!


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